grandma shit on top of the toilet
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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