i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
