Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
