i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
