capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
