I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
two words: eviction party
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
