Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
