I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
