Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
