how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
