before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
