why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
