I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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