He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
