Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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