Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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