Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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