His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
