Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
