Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
