How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
