i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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