I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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