Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
