No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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