And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
