You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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