were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
