You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she looked like the before picture.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
