when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
