After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
