I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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