Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
