hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
