ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
