We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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