hell yes lets make some ravioli
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
