i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
