The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
