Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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