Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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