did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
