is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
