why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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