He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
