I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
