it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
