Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
A bitchslap is in order.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
