drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
