it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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