Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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