buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
