I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
