Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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